Attachment
Attachment is a deep, enduring bond connecting two people over space and time. Parent-child attachments are most important in child development, forming the basis for the child's personality and emotional stabilty (Bergin & Bergin, 2012).
An example of the importance of attachment can be seen in Rene Spitz's study on infant attachment. His study proved that it is essential for infants have an adequate substitute for their mother if they are separated from her after their birth. As seen in the video he created about infants who were separated from their mothers, the infants' mental and physical development slowly halted during the first two months of separation. By the third month of separation, the child appears to be emotionless and has a regressing developmental level. If a child does not make any attachments by the time he is 5 months old, he will stop growing and gaining weight. He will also lose the ability to sit, stand, walk, and talk. In these cases, 37.3% of the infants who were separated with their mothers died. (Spitz)
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Children who are adopted within the first couple months of birth have the easiest time attaching to their adoptive parents. If the parents give their child attention and loving response when they are feeding, smiling, and cooing, the child develops a sense of security and trust. It is important to show the child through attention and affection, that he is loved and that he can depend on his parents. If the child was adopted after 9 months of age or had multiple placements before being adopted, they are at a higher risk for having attachment problems and should be enrolled in early intervention services. (Developmental Concerns)
Disruptions in the attachment process which lead to insecure attachment:
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Strategies to help adopted children form secure attachments:
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Social and Emotional Struggles
Preschool: Forming an Identity
As children begin school, they will want to form an identity for themselves. Much of that identity is from their family, and if a child is adopted, they must merge two or more separate families and histories. At the preschool stage, it is important to build trust with the child by telling them the story of their adoption so that they are just as excited about it as other children are about the story of their birth. It is essential to be honest with the child from the beginning, making them feel loved and welcome, because inevitably the child will begin to at least subconsciously realize that someone else did not want them as they enter grade school. (Developmental Concerns)
As children begin school, they will want to form an identity for themselves. Much of that identity is from their family, and if a child is adopted, they must merge two or more separate families and histories. At the preschool stage, it is important to build trust with the child by telling them the story of their adoption so that they are just as excited about it as other children are about the story of their birth. It is essential to be honest with the child from the beginning, making them feel loved and welcome, because inevitably the child will begin to at least subconsciously realize that someone else did not want them as they enter grade school. (Developmental Concerns)
Struggles faced by children who are adopted at this stage include:
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How parents can help their children overcome social & emotional barriers:
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Elementary School: Insecurity
At this stage, students are fully aware that they had birth parents but most likely do not know much about them, so they often feel devalued and affects their self-esteem. It is important that the child feels comfortable talking about it, but undue emphasis should not be placed on their adoption. If facts and feelings about adoption are not discussed at all, however, children will unconsciously identify themselves as unworthy. Children will also realize that their birth mother did not want to raise them and will wonder why. They may feel they were given up because there was something wrong with them or and experience a range of emotions from incredulity to sadness, disappointment, anger, and guilt. However, they are less willing to share these feelings with their parents and ask questions, having a greater sense of privacy and being unsure that their parents will tolerate their questions or feelings. The loss, hurt, and anger may surface in the form of breaking rules, stealing, and lying.
If the child was internationally adopted, it may be helpful to provide them with opportunity of cross-cultural experiences, such as summer programs or adoption family camp. For all adopted children, it is good to leave it up to them to share with people they are meeting that they are adopted or not. It may also be helpful for children to meet and talk with others who have been adopted who are close to them in age. (Developmental Concerns)
If the child was internationally adopted, it may be helpful to provide them with opportunity of cross-cultural experiences, such as summer programs or adoption family camp. For all adopted children, it is good to leave it up to them to share with people they are meeting that they are adopted or not. It may also be helpful for children to meet and talk with others who have been adopted who are close to them in age. (Developmental Concerns)
Adolescence: Identity Formation & Rebellion
Most adolescents go through a search for possible identification figures and fantasize more about their birth parents. They often undergo a period of rebellion against their parents, suffering from what Erik Erikson described as "identity diffusion," or feelings of aimlessness, fragmentation, or alienation. Adolescent adoptees may withdraw from their parents and be more critical of what their parents did or did not do to help them adjust to their adoptive status.
The best thing that parents can do at this point is create a balance between loving and letting go. It is not uncommon for there to be a period of estrangement and/or lessened communication, but the trust and communication established in the child's younger years should lead to a better relationship as the moves into the adulthood stage. (Developmental Concerns)
The best thing that parents can do at this point is create a balance between loving and letting go. It is not uncommon for there to be a period of estrangement and/or lessened communication, but the trust and communication established in the child's younger years should lead to a better relationship as the moves into the adulthood stage. (Developmental Concerns)
Resources
It is often difficult to tell if a child's developmental struggles are stemming from their adoption or not, especially after the child is 6 years old. As written Smith and Miroff in the book You're Our Child: The Adoption Experience, "The most common source of problems are developmental changes which follow a child from infancy to adulthood, not the fact that the child was or was not adopted." However, if the adoptive family feels the need for assistance with raising thier child, there are many counseling services available. A variety of services are listed by state at adoptionservices.org's page Child Adoption Agencies, Types, & Laws Plus Financial and Medical Assistance Programs.
It is often difficult to tell if a child's developmental struggles are stemming from their adoption or not, especially after the child is 6 years old. As written Smith and Miroff in the book You're Our Child: The Adoption Experience, "The most common source of problems are developmental changes which follow a child from infancy to adulthood, not the fact that the child was or was not adopted." However, if the adoptive family feels the need for assistance with raising thier child, there are many counseling services available. A variety of services are listed by state at adoptionservices.org's page Child Adoption Agencies, Types, & Laws Plus Financial and Medical Assistance Programs.
References
Bergin, C.C. & Bergin, D.A. (2012). Child and Adolescent Development in Your Classroom. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.Child adoption agencies, types, laws. (n.d.). Retrieved from Adoption Services: http://www.adoptionservices.org/adoption_agencies/index.htm
Developmental Concerns. (n.d.). Retrieved from International Adoption Help: http://www.internationaladoptionhelp.com/international_adoption/international_adoption_developmental.htm
Gateway, C. W. (2009). Parenting your adopted school-age child. Retrieved from Administration for Children & Families: https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/parent_school_age/parent_school_age_a.cfm
Johnston, W. R. (2012, May 20). Historical statistics on adoption in the United States. Retrieved April 2013, from Johnston Archives: http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/policy/adoptionstats.html
McClatchey, C. (2011, November 1). Summer-born struggle: Why August children suffer at school. Retrieved April, from BBC News Magazine: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-15490760
Miroff, J., & Smith, F. (1987). You're our child: The adoption experience. Lanham: Madison Books.
Spitz, R. (1952). Psychogenic Diseases in Infancy. Retrieved from YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvdOe10vrs4
Developmental Concerns. (n.d.). Retrieved from International Adoption Help: http://www.internationaladoptionhelp.com/international_adoption/international_adoption_developmental.htm
Gateway, C. W. (2009). Parenting your adopted school-age child. Retrieved from Administration for Children & Families: https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/parent_school_age/parent_school_age_a.cfm
Johnston, W. R. (2012, May 20). Historical statistics on adoption in the United States. Retrieved April 2013, from Johnston Archives: http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/policy/adoptionstats.html
McClatchey, C. (2011, November 1). Summer-born struggle: Why August children suffer at school. Retrieved April, from BBC News Magazine: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-15490760
Miroff, J., & Smith, F. (1987). You're our child: The adoption experience. Lanham: Madison Books.
Spitz, R. (1952). Psychogenic Diseases in Infancy. Retrieved from YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvdOe10vrs4
Illinois State University |TCH 210 Sec 001 Spring 2014 | Amy Frederick, Spanish Education | Grace Heim, Speech-Language Pathology & Spanish | Created 3/26/2014 | Last Updated 4/1/2014